Different ways of living love and sexuality in the 21st century
There are as many ways of transiting sexuality as people in the world, and while we are at a time when diversity struggles to become visible, what is the norm is still very marked.
Much of our society is heterosexual and monogamous, but is it the only way to relate? Of course not. We know that the horizon of sexual orientations and their rights is expanding. In more than 25 countries of the world there is already equal marriage: homosexual and bisexual people can legalize their love situations if they wish, but in these cases we do not stop talking about a type of relationship: the traditional couple.
What leads us to ask ourselves, is a relationship the only way to relate? Those who choose to do so, do they do it all in the same way? Do people always at the time of having a sex-affective relationship do it exclusively? Do relationships in all cases involve sex?
The answer to all these questions goes back to no. Let us make a small classification to understand the plurality of options in which affection and sex can investigate.
Different types of sex-affective relationships
A relationship is monogamous when there is an exclusive loving and / or emotional relationship between two individuals.
It is the most commonly used way of bonding in Western culture, given to unions and commitments such as marriage. Although the number of people who marry is decreasing greatly, the way of relating is still the most chosen, is it because there are prejudices with other forms?
In this type of relationship, both parties of a couple agree to have permission to have intimate relationships outside of this, without considering it as infidelity. These types of people usually are the wilder ones. They are into the kinkier side of relationships. They are the ones who typically use sex toys and furniture such as CSWM sex swings. Not everyone who chooses to handle themselves in this way do so in the same way, although there is no treaty of exclusivity when it comes to bonding, the individuals involved do tend to agree on limits beforehand.
Open relationships can also be called polyamorous, but this is more than a type of link. There are people who identify themselves as polyamorous, regardless of whether they have a link with otrx or not, becoming a relational orientation. This involves people who can have emotional relationships (and in most cases sexual) with more than one person simultaneously. Therefore, unx can be single and still be polyamorous, since it has to do with the way it is linked and not with a relationship itself.
They are those that are not limited to two people, but are constituted by three or more interacting emotionally and sexually. There are also multiple open relationships.
There are people who have monogamous relationships for many years and then want to experience polyamory, there are monogamous couples who may even be married and decide to open for a thirdx to enter. There are so many stories and variables that it is impossible to name them all. Sexuality, besides being a search, can vary and reinvent itself over time. The same happens with the way we express our desire and love.
Variety in the ways of feeling
We live in a hypersexual society. There is sex in the movies, in the songs, there is talk of sex in meetings with friends, every day on the street we see advertisements that use sex to sell. But beyond this, not all people experience sexual desire, and those who do, often live with different intensities and in different ways.
A person is asexual when he does not experience sexual attraction. This does not mean that you cannot have romantic relationships or love one or more people. Asexuals are simply not interested in sexual acts.
Although it is a sexual orientation discovered in recent years, it is estimated that between 1% and 3% of the world population is. The ignorance on the subject leads to much confusion: asexual people are usually classified as impotent in the case of men and frigid in the case of women, among other badly used labels.
At the other end of the spectrum, we find alosexuality. It is a word created by the asexual community to refer to those who do feel sexual desire.
This term began to be used only in 2011, previously the people “alosexuales” were simply named “sexual” people. The new term was introduced given that we are all sexual subjects, regardless of whether we have the desire or not.
Sexually gray are those who, while they may feel sexual attraction, do not do so often.
One is demisexual when he does not find someone attractive from the sexual point of view until he does not do so on the sentimental level. This link can occur after a few days or after several months or even years, and be with one person or several at a time. Like all previous types of sexuality, each person lives it in their own way.
The century of definitions
Many relatively new terms can be complicated, but it is important that we understand that the concepts to be understood need names. By calling something we give entity, and so we become visible. Something I can name, exists, and people who feel a way, being aware that there are others like them, can form a community membership and feel more self-assured.
Visibilizing the different ways of feeling, being and acting, not only makes them normalize, it also allows others to identify themselves. A teenager who does not feel interest in sex as the rest of his companions do can believe that it is rare. If I learned from the different orientations and relationships, I would know that there are other similar ones.
It is not that all these ways of relating have been invented in this century. What does happen now is that there are many people and groups looking for the acceptance of diversity. They fight so that each one, knowing the whole range of possibilities, can be placed in the place where they feel better, without having to adapt to ways of bonding that do not close to adjust to the socially accepted.
Happy sexual diversity!