The 9 phases of every Relationship
Are you just in love? Or is your favorite person at your side for several years? Depending on how long you have gone through life together, you are in different phases of the relationship. From freshly in love to old familiar everything is there. These nine stages of a relationship go through most couples in their time together.
- The big infatuation
If a couple has come together completely fresh, it is in the middle of the absolute infatuation phase. Nobody wants to spend a second without the other and just know everything about the other person. Often you are laughed at in this phase, but you can not do otherwise: chemical reactions bring our brain in absolute high spirits. As scientists have found, the level of serotonin in freshly-loved people is about as high as in forcibly disturbed people. In addition, the same brain regions are active as in cocaine users. At the same time, the happiness hormone dopamine is released in bulk. So, are you just completely turned on, happy, full of energy and completely obsessed with your new flame,Do not worry, love you! Incidentally, sex feels sensational at this stage.
Typical sentence: “You are so great!”
- The great understanding
In this second phase you will get to know each other better and better. You have evening conversations in which you reveal a lot about yourself and listen to your partner with great interest. At this stage, everything comes to the table: family, ex-partner, work … As open and honest as now, most are never in their relationship again. In place of dopamine and serotonin now oxytocin and vasopressin occur. The two “bonding hormones” not only give us the feeling of peace and security, but also ensure that in our brains the idea matures to bind to the other person permanently.
Typical sentence: “Yes, I completely understand that.”
- The little stumblers
After a few months, just about every couple enters the third phase of the relationship. The total obsession should now have become significantly weaker. If one of the partners has not experienced the initial extreme infatuation , this is an indication for psychologists that the still massively in love is insecure or that there are other problems in the relationship. Loss fears could also play a role. The relationship is now less sex and endless conversation and goes to the common everyday life. Often there are the first minor disputes in this phase.
Typical sentence: “You could go shopping sometimes.”
- The different expectations
The relationship is now several months older. Everyone has formed an opinion on the other and developed certain expectations of the other person. But to estimate the other exactly, not enough time has passed. Therefore, in this phase, either very positive or negative experiences occur when the partner does not meet their own expectations.
Typical sentence: “I thought you did not mind.”
- The small change attempts
If the partnership continues, in the next phase, one person may want to change the other, or both, to get the perfect partner. This happens far too rarely in the form of an open-ended wish, and more often as a more or less subtle attempt to convince the partner of one’s own opinion and to make him act differently in the future. Anger develops and sometimes there are open power struggles.
Typical sentence: “Better do it differently.”
- The big satisfaction
Having held the relationship so far, the next phase in the partnership follows. And in this the great satisfaction begins. Both partners have realized that compromises are needed to work together. The expectations of the partner are now clear and also much more realistic than in Phase 4. The relationship is unspectacular, but continues to progress and both partners feel deeply connected to each other. Wedding is often a topic in this phase and also children are being considered. In turn, the oxytocin that is still released is responsible for the desire to have children, which makes the idea of reproduction extremely attractive to the brain .
Typical sentence: “Do you want to marry me?”
- The big doubts
Many people connect the relationship inseparably with the happiness of life and therefore get to the point where they look again: Is this relationship really what I want for my life? Is he the right one? Would another partner be even better suited? The uncertainty causes you to look around, how other relationships are going, and whether they may be happier than yours. If constriction as well as monotony in the relationship is an issue, this phase is the one in which the partnership breaks down. In addition, in this phase, it often comes to side jumps.
Typical sentence (to yourself): “What do I really want?”
- The big change in bed
Once couples get together for a longer period of time, sex becomes a big topic at some point: either because nothing is working or when the partners try to try something new and not only to save the relationship, but also to enjoy the fun of having sex. If sexually no longer works or if one person does not support the other’s efforts to make sex life attractive, an affair threatens. However, if the attempts at refreshment in bed are successful, a couple welds together particularly strongly in this phase.
Typical sentence: “Wow, so I do not know you!”
Incidentally , at this very age, most people are strangers.
- The endless trust
Proximity is just as relevant in this phase as the fact that both partners have their own interests, which they pursue (even without the partner). Love has reached a point in this phase where it is absolute and hard to beat. And the trust in the partner is almost limitless. Happiness has a real chance at this point. But only if both partners are still willing to invest in the relationship and not take the partner for granted.
Typical sentence: “I love you.”