Interpersonal relationships require attention, care and patience. But, if yours is stagnating or you think there is room for improvement, you can try these psychologist tips that will help you have a happier relationship.
Most studies involving couples indicate that after a maximum period of one year, the overwhelming illusion ends. We are entering a period of “calm love”. And, after a variable number of years, comes the period of stagnation. Every couple is different and no one knows each other’s situation better than the two directly involved. But it’s worth remembering that if you feel like you’re at an impasse in your relationship, it’s not because you’re a monster. Better, in many cases, there are solutions. Here are some tips gleaned from Business Insider, Hero and drawn from our personal experiences that should help you be happier in your marriage.
Be emotional
Even if you don’t feel like touching, the best way to feel like being close to each other is to be close to each other. Physical affection is directly linked to the satisfaction we feel in a romantic relationship, and it’s the first thing that breaks when things stop working well.
Do something spontaneous
Often, routine is responsible for relationship stagnation. Doing something different could be a solution to rekindle the flame and get you out of there. If you like music, grab tickets for this super cool festival we’ve been telling you about. Pack your bags and go away for the weekend (even if it’s to the next town) without planning it months in advance. Prepare a romantic dinner at home, with wine and candles. Drive to another city to spend the day.
Do the “attentive conversation” exercise
When we have someone who is always there for us, we tend to stop paying attention to them and have a general idea of what they are saying to us, or to think more about what we should respond to rather than what ‘he tells us. This is where this tactic comes in. First, ask your partner to talk to you about what he or she wants to tell you for a set amount of time (for example, three minutes). Once the time is up, first tell him what you understood from what he said. If your partner agrees with your interpretation, respond. Once he’s satisfied, do it the other way around: you talk and your partner listens.
>> 15 Great tips for being a happy couple.
Use the three magic words
Pope Francis says there are three words that save every marriage: “please, thank you and forgiveness.” And it has become a relationship mantra.
Please: When we live with someone, we tend to take small things for granted. We must reorganize what we believe we have the right to do and rediscover the gentleness of character.
Forgiveness: Sometimes we don’t apologize because the matter doesn’t matter to us or because pride prevents us from admitting that we weren’t right. And it will leave our partner feeling offended and alone.
Thank you: As if we had permission, we have become accustomed to taking for granted the small favors our partner does for us. Get used to giving thanks for everyday life.
Divide the work
It’s possible that the needs and tastes of each of you have changed since you clarified who did what. It doesn’t hurt to see if either of you has more work. The first step is to write down all the tasks you do and indicate which ones you like and which ones you don’t like. Maybe one of you has more work but gets more done than the other. You can exchange certain assignments.
>> Also read: 12 Signs of Green Flags in a Relationship: The Keys to a Healthy Bond
Maintain communication
Communication problems are one of the most common causes of breakups. If there is a conflict, resolve it, don’t let it be swept under the rug. Try to talk and express how you feel when the anger of an argument has passed, expressing your views constructively and without negative criticism.
Do equality exercises
After an argument, remind yourself that your partner is just like you, that there are reasons why they feel the way they do, and that all they want is to have a happy relationship.
Impose the 10 minute rule
Force yourself to have at least 10 minutes a day of conversation that doesn’t include kids, work, or responsibilities. Ask personal questions on topics of interest, learn things from each other. This way, your mind will remember the early years of marriage and the relationship will regain its freshness.
