I welcome an extraordinary coach to my site who helps men and women in their love lives. This is Jenny who usually works on the largest French web magazine for love life and personal development. She actively fights to help the people she supports to overcome heartbreak or to feel better in their love life, and in this article wanted to discuss a phenomenon that we often hear about: love at first sight.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: A RARE PHENOMENON?
So yes, we have all heard of love at first sight. Some of you may even have had the chance to experience it. Everyone dreams of experiencing idyllic love, that is to say that in just a few seconds and an exchanged look, love is there.
But this sensation that many people looking for a soul mate dream of does not only have good sides and I wanted, through this article, to reveal to you all the hidden sides of love at first sight. Moreover, if some believe in it, for others it is an illusion. Many will say “I only believe in what I see!”. It’s not false.
We must first take into account that each romantic relationship is different. In my opinion, there are two forms of love: the light breeze and the hurricane. The light breeze that caresses you and follows you until the end of your life (or almost!), and the hurricane that hits you and marks you for life…
Indeed, falling in love with a person on the spot, without even knowing them, ignoring everything about them is difficult to imagine because for most of us developing romantic feelings towards someone unknown does not happen in a snap of the fingers.
For singles and/or those who don’t really recognize themselves in this description, know that I haven’t revealed everything yet but I know in advance that some will recognize themselves in what follows. Here is my take on love at first sight that will challenge preconceived ideas!
>> Also read: 7 Proofs of Love: How to Strengthen Your Relationship
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT DEFINITION AND EXAMPLES
Before going further in the analysis, it is important that we address the basics of this phenomenon, with the definition of love at first sight that we could provide and what are its main characteristics. When we take the dictionaries we can read this:
- “Love at first sight is a phenomenon that a person can experience during a sudden encounter with a stranger. »
- It is also a “Sudden Love, against which we cannot fight”
- “Love at first sight would be the immediate and irrational birth of a romantic feeling for an unknown person whose physical appearance corresponds to our ideal. »
- Definition of love at first sight: “Love is experienced at first sight”
Well it is true that given the terms used it sounds a little too dreamy and it is even idealistic.
But if we went into more detail, what would that ultimately give? Yes, if you are wondering how to know if he loves me!
Firstly, two essential words: “blow” and “lightning”. If we could make our own definition, I would say for my part that love at first sight is above all a phenomenon that comes to strike you when you least expect it, putting us in a state of almost bewitchment. It is an irremediable attraction that we will feel for a stranger.
Finally, in a simple exchange of glances, it will be the revelation that will seem obvious to you… This chance encounter will mark your mind, it will cause a real electric shock because in a very short period of time you will already be under its spell. And often you didn’t see it coming!
However, there is one aspect that must be taken into account: many doubt the existence of love at first sight…
WHAT DOES THE SCIENCE SAY ABOUT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
After all, if we say that we fell in love with a house or a place, why not also use it in love. Moreover, love at first sight can also be a “crush”.
Often seen as a mystical or romantic phenomenon, it can be explored through the prism of science. When it occurs, it involves complex chemical and neurological reactions. When two people meet and feel immediate attraction, their brains release hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and serotonin. These chemicals are associated with feelings of pleasure, happiness and attachment. Dopamine, in particular, plays a crucial role in the feeling of reward and euphoria. This biochemical reaction may explain why love at first sight seems so captivating and intense (much like when you take drugs).
But the one that is particularly responsible for the changes that take place in your body (cheeks that turn red, your heart that beats faster, your legs that tremble, your shivers) is adrenaline!
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: BETWEEN PSYCHOLOGY AND LOVE
From a psychological point of view, love at first sight can be influenced by several factors. Perception of beauty, personal preferences, and even emotional state at the time of encounter can all play a role.
Additionally, studies suggest that past experiences and learned relationship patterns influence how a person perceives a potential partner. It is therefore possible that love at first sight is partially shaped by our unconscious experiences and expectations.
Still, love at first sight is a deeply personal and subjective phenomenon, which can vary considerably from one person to another. There will therefore always be an element of magic and mystery surrounding sudden and passionate love stories.
>> Also read: Marriage and Sexuality in the 21st century
WHAT HAPPENS IN MY BRAIN WHEN I HAVE A CRUSH?
If you’ve ever said to yourself that “it was special from the first meeting” with him, you need to understand what’s going on in your brain at that moment.
The moment our eyes land on the person we are attracted to, our brain begins to produce phenyl ethylamine, also known as PEA.
This substance acts like a natural amphetamine. It causes a feeling of unparalleled well-being and comfort, making us forget everything that is happening around us.
Then dopamine, often called the attention molecule, is released, boosting mood and enthusiasm. As a neurotransmitter, it transforms the person into a veritable bundle of emotions. This may manifest as frequent, spontaneous laughter, often for no obvious reason.
The last molecule involved in this process is adrenaline, well known as the emergency molecule. It has the effect of increasing body temperature and accelerating the heart rate.
The intense attraction is irresistible and dopamine commands our brains to rush toward the anticipated pleasure. This process takes place in seconds or minutes. Compulsive behaviors such as loss of appetite or the irrepressible urge to send numerous messages can be explained by these constant hormonal fluctuations. In addition, for a few weeks, the frontal lobe, located at the front of the limbic system, pauses our ability to judge.
SHOULD WE BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? YES, SUDDEN LOVE IS A REALITY!
I will always believe that there is a solution to relationship problems. Nowadays men and women tend to separate for little. No more communication efforts are made and partners do not want to take the initiative to resolve problems because it is so easy to find love again. Around me or during coaching sessions, I sometimes even hear people say that love is dead.
But this is completely wrong and I know it well! The beautiful stories of couples who get back together after a separation or of men and women who find their other half after years of being single are there to remind me that there is no more wonderful feeling.
One of my friends was telling me how crazy he was about this girl he had met at the office and that since then he had only thought about her, so he said to me the famous phrase: “Honestly Jenny, I think it was love at first sight.” Within moments he knew he wanted to be with her, an attraction formed within minutes even though they had never met.
My friend is not an exception, it is common to hear men and women say how they immediately felt their heart beat faster. So that’s a favorite!
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: A HOLLYWOOD INVENTION?
We have all seen those American films (or others, let’s not just blame our friends across the Atlantic!) in which the hero literally falls under the spell of the girl who is about to get married, and who throughout the film fights to conquer it. It is
Thanks to these films, millions of people know about love at first sight and think they have experienced it.
Men identify with the hero and want to feel what the latter feels for the one he loves. Just like women want to experience a love story comparable to that of Hollywood romantic comedies. But is it really possible to completely change your life for a person you have only just met, or is the cinema trying to trick us into dreaming?
Although wonderful, love is not that simple and it would be a shame to consider that just one look is enough to start a beautiful and long story. In these films, we stop at the moment when the two characters are driving in a convertible, but we never talk about what happens next. Is she so radiant? Is forming a couple with a person you met 3 days before a guarantee of safety? I definitely don’t want to crush all your hopes, but I think developing feelings is more complex.
I wouldn’t want you to model your love life on those of fictional characters because the fall would be more than delicate. It’s a bit like the lottery, there are winners but there are very few of them. So the lightning falling on every street corner, I have a little trouble believing it! But I’ll come back to that a little later.
HOW TO EXPLAIN A SUDDEN AND POWERFUL ATTRACTION?
When we think of love at first sight, we imagine marriage, children, family life. A crush is more a desire to see the person again and spend time with them, to be more intimate.
The strong attraction that you may have had is explained by the fact that you are physically under the spell of this person. You don’t know him/her, you’ve never spent time together, it’s just a physical attraction. Be careful, do not misinterpret my words, this is in no way a criticism, it sometimes happens that we are attracted at first, only by the body, the face or the smile of this unknown. And if you want to know what men like in women read this article.
Finally, there is one last element which seems essential to me to clarify in order to explain love at first sight. I will return to cinema to illustrate my point. There are many films in which Prince Charming falls in love with the common girl after an exchange of glances. So he spends the entire film trying to find her. It’s a dream, but let’s try to put it in the current context!
Is such a thing possible? Aren’t we attracted to people who look like us, who experience what we experience. In other words, isn’t the crush that we can feel conditioned by our environment, by our social environment, do we really choose who we fall in love with or does society guide our choice?
It is difficult to say that falling in love at first sight is possible knowing that it is in reality a set of external elements that create this attraction. This makes the natural, uncontrollable and surprising side of love at first sight less obvious.
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER A LIGHTNING STRIKE IN OUR BRAIN?
Some theories suggest that the stroke is part of evolution and natural selection. It could be interpreted as a mechanism favoring the rapid selection of a partner. This immediate and powerful attraction ensures a quick and strong connection between two individuals, which can be beneficial for the reproduction and survival of the species. This could explain why the phenomenon of love at first sight is so widespread and valued in different cultures.
If we are talking about a strong and immediate emotion, we must also take into account what happens after love at first sight, once the two partners live in a couple relationship.
Indeed, this intense passion tends to fade after two or three years, giving way to routine. In reality, our brains appear to be programmed to maintain this strong attraction just long enough for procreation, a survival strategy of the species. Yet, it remains a mystery why some people experience love at first sight while others do not!
However, we should not consider love at first sight as a one-off passion that does not last over time. Love needs to be maintained and the flame must be rekindled at every moment! But it can also happen that this love at first sight is unfortunately not mutual…
THE MAIN SIGNS OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!
Is there an obvious symptom of love? The answer is no because we are all different! On the other hand, there are signs that can help you know if you are in the middle of a crush or in real love at first sight.
It’s something that will disturb you when in a glance exchanged, you know from the outset that this person you cannot let it go because the attraction is so strong and obvious. It is also interesting to note that between men and women these signs are not distinct… Love at first sight is unisex!
So in the end, what does falling in love with someone mean?
- It’s being intimidated and hypnotized by the charm that the person exudes. Therefore having an ultimate attraction for the other.
- It’s feeling the palpitations of your racing heart.
- It’s feeling an intense heat that bubbles right down to our insides.
- It’s the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach and wonderful tingling that invades your heart.
- It’s being caught in a whirlwind, with this constant fire that you light wherever you go.
- It’s being completely overwhelmed by this encounter and feeling the attraction that emanates from you.
- It’s not being able to think about anything other than that person.
HOW CAN THIS MECHANISM BE EXPLAINED?
It’s the symptom of love… As the adage says: The heart has its reasons that reason ignores. This phenomenon is specific to everyone and no one is safe from feeling it one day or another. It’s both strange and magical, and above all it’s a great, unique and breathtaking experience. A wonder of nature if you like…
An event that happens to you by chance. Whether you didn’t see it coming and even whether you are not looking for true love, it is love that comes knocking at your door to surprise you. It’s still magical, isn’t it? But be careful, everything is not so rosy!
WHAT ARE THE PITFALLS OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
If it has everything of an idyllic, sensational, and wonderful moment to experience… CF is also a phenomenon which still has bad sides, and which can sometimes even prove dangerous…
Love at first sight is wanting to be adventurous and therefore agreeing to live dangerously which is the complete opposite of platonic love. This leads to not knowing what tomorrow will bring and therefore rushing into a story without knowing where you are going exactly. Whoever lives will see, as they say! And when the passion fades…
THE GLARE CAN CATCH UP WITH YOU
Love at first sight also means risking getting tripped up and therefore falling into the trap of being dazzled… The love experienced could prove destructive to the person and their environment. You are so obsessed with your love that you rush in with your eyes closed.
You are in your bubble, you feel wonderful and you do not think about things that require reflection. Even to the point of alienating your social and family circle. It’s being exalted by your emotional state, the euphoria of the moment, the adrenaline felt in high doses which will put you in an attitude that is not like you, make you capable of doing certain things that you would never have done. before that.
THE SPARK MAY STOP SHINING ONE DAY
When the story ends, because yes unfortunately, there are also magnificent stories which are not made to last but which nevertheless will be incredible, intense, and even breathtaking, which are good to live and share, even in the short term!
So even if it’s a broken heart that may be waiting for you around the corner, that won’t mean that you won’t be able to relive something as strong and whole with someone else… It’s important to always keep hope, of knowing how to make the right choices and moving forward in life without regrets and of smiling at the memories that made your heart beat… And even if you find yourself single at thirty or forty, you are not safe from finding love on the corner of your street!
THE KEY TO MAINTAINING LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT…
If you’re not wondering whether love at first sight exists but want to know how to make it last, here are some keys.
It is a strong feeling that one experiences for a person where emotions and feelings are heightened. Above all, love at first sight is characterized by physical attraction. The problem will then be not to put all your feelings in the same table with regard to your feelings.
It would be wise before you start (even if they say that love gives wings) to position yourself and ask yourself intelligently in your relationship in order to know if your other half shares the same feelings as you. Love is something that is experienced and built together. Before declaring your love, it is interesting to determine whether you are dealing with a man in love or a woman in love.
Sometimes the words are slow to come out but remember that looks say everything and don’t deceive… Take the time to observe and analyze the behavior of the other so as not to rush things too much but to go at your own pace, namely slowly but surely and above all to be two in the same boat…!
If you would like to leave a comment for debate or to share your impressions with us, it will be with pleasure in the comments area located below. 🙂
