How do you know if you suffer from love anxiety? What should we do if we have feelings of anxiety in our relationship? Find out how to identify and fix it.
Anxiety has a negative impact on different areas of our lives, especially our relationships. Not only does it affect how we perceive certain situations in our daily lives, but it also affects our ability to communicate and connect with other people. But what is relationship anxiety?
Relationship anxiety, what is it?
Relationship anxiety largely stems from choice overload. When we’re faced with a plethora of options, it can become difficult to make a decision and stick to it. We begin to imagine that perhaps there is something or someone better, thus fueling our worries. It’s completely normal to feel relationship anxiety, especially when considering getting into a long-term relationship. These feelings are not necessarily a sign of a relationship problem.
Signs of relationship anxiety
There are a number of behaviors that may indicate that a person is experiencing some love anxiety. Here are some of the signs that may indicate that you are in this situation:
- Constant worry: People suffering from this type of relationship anxiety often suffer from a insecurity emotional which leads them to constantly doubt the other person. For example, they may worry about whether the other person is lying to them.
- Fear of abandonment: Love anxiety is also linked to the fear that the other person will fall in love with someone else or end up leaving them.
- Fear of infidelity: This anxiety can also lead a person to think that their partner may be unfaithful. So, they may be suspicious of their relationship even if they have no reason to be.
- I overthink every conversation: Relationship anxiety also means that people end up overthinking every conversation or act that happened within the bond. This can result in certain “readings” when faced with situations that don’t really have any deep meaning.
- Relationship avoidance: Sometimes, love anxiety can cause people to give up on the relationship and avoid connecting with others in affectionate ways.
- Doubts about the partner’s feelings: Love anxiety can also lead a person to think that they do not deserve the loving actions or feelings of the other person in the relationship. In fact, it can also end up being a way of constantly questioning how the other person feels.
- Over control: Partner anxiety can also manifest as over control. This could be the person spying on their cell phone or computer to find out what their partner is doing.
- Emotional dependence: Relationship anxiety can also involve effective dependence. In fact, people may want to be close to their partner all the time and not be able to do anything without the other person.
People who suffer from partner anxiety may not have all of these symptoms or may experience them to a different degree. As with other anxiety disorders, anxiety presents differently in each case.
Why do I suffer from love anxiety?
When these worries begin to arise and become part of a relationship, you may be suffering from love anxiety. Here are some of the most common reasons these feelings and emotions may arise:
- Anxious attachment style: In some cases, relationship anxiety is related to how we were treated by our parents or caregivers in childhood. For example, when children receive love and attention, it can sometimes cause an anxious and insecure attachment to the bonding people.
- Negative past experiences: Having a bad experience in previous relationships can also cause romantic anxiety. In other words, if a previous relationship was marked by abuse or infidelity, the person may end up fearing future partners more.
- Low self-esteem: People who do not have good self-esteem may end up experiencing anxiety in their relationships. Indeed, this lack of self-esteem can lead to constantly doubting the authenticity of one’s partner’s feelings, or even to doubting whether they really deserve the love they receive from the other.
- Poor communication: Sometimes concerns about the partner’s affection or the future of the relationship can also be linked to the fact that there are not honest conversations about feelings or thoughts that may arise in the bond.
How to overcome anxiety in relationships?
Love anxiety can end up having negative effects on the relationship, such as greater dependence on the other person or even avoidance behaviors to avoid facing certain problems. So, if you want to overcome this type of anxiety, we recommend that you consider the following:
- Communicate your feelings: To try not to suffer from this love anxiety, it is important to have honest conversations with your partner about your worries, expectations or dreams for the future. By sharing your feelings or thoughts, it will be easier for you to gain clarity on certain issues that may end up worrying you and causing anxiety.
- Enjoy the Present: Focusing on the present will help you get rid of relationship anxiety as well as any fears that may arise from it. In fact, if thoughts that affect you start to arise around the relationship, it’s important to try to focus on the present and enjoy what you’re doing rather than placing more importance on the future or in the past.
- Question your Negative thoughts: One of the reasons why people can suffer from anxiety is precisely because they let their negative thoughts end up controlling their emotions. So you can try to manage your anxiety by reasoning with these thoughts and asking yourself whether it is wise to think about them.
- Seek therapy: If you feel like you have relationship anxiety and it’s affecting you and your partner, it may be a good idea to consult a professional therapist. Through counseling you can receive the most appropriate advice to change the negative thoughts that affect you.
Fortunately, there are ways to deal with relationship anxiety, but they all require work between the two of you and on a personal level. If you suffer from this type of anxiety, it is important that you communicate with your partner so they can help you work on it.